When is the right time to have sex?

One of the questions we ask that always stumps parents is “When should your children have sex for the first time?”  It’s hard to imagine our baby boys & girls ever turning into sexual beings!   But kids pick up values and expectations from friends & the media so we think it’s important for parents to provide an alternative, experienced voice for them to listen to.  They may not always follow what we say, but it gives them choices, alternatives and “an out” if their values are different than Katy Perry’s or “whatever the popular kids are doing.”   The hard part for parents is “What the heck do I say?”  Click the video below to listen today’s great question and our answer to this common dilemma.

Here’s what other parents have come up with besides the traditional

“save it for marriage”.

“When you have sex for the first time I want it to be consensual, legal, and filled with love.  I don’t want you to do it for any reason other than you really, really, really want to.”

“If you are using condoms and living on your own, you can do what you want.  Just make sure you respect each other.”

“When you and your partner have discussed the consequences of sex and how you would handle birth control, STD’s, pregnancy, breakups.  This shows a level of emotional maturity and intimacy which indicates your relationship is ready to handle sex.”

“When you are in a deeply loving, committed relationship and you’ve been together long enough where you know you can trust each other to be honest & faithful.”

“I want your partner to value your heart, mind, and reputation as much as your parents do.  I think your first time should be filled with mutual respect, love & laughter (it’s not always smooth & romantic so a good sense of humor is important!)

“I want you to know the difference between lust, arousal & love.  Make sure your family & friends approve of your partners character.  They might see her more clearly than you.”

Got more ideas?  We’d love to hear ’em!  Jump over to our a FACEBOOK PAGE and tell us which”alternative to abstinence” you like best.  

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