Why is it so hard to talk to our kids about sex?

So many parents WANT to talk to their kids about puberty, sexuality, love and intimacy.  We want our kids to come to us with problems, concerns, and questions and to respond to them with honesty about such an important topic.  So why is it so hard?

It’s hard because it is REALLY important.  It’s hard because we don’t want to screw it up.  It’s hard because we don’t have the words to say what we really want to say.  Talking to pre-teens about sex requires authenticity.  It calls us to be our higher selves.  We have to admit we don’t know everything and we can’t protect our child from everything.  It’s switching from being the all-knowing-parent-in-charge to the cheerleading-mentor-sideline-coach.  It’s admitting ignorance and embarrassment.  It’s feeling awkward and vulnerable.  It’s feeling the shame of your past mistakes.  It’s realizing we, too, are susceptible to the messages the media sends around not being good enough.  It’s being open to whatever your kid wants to ask.  It’s hearing about the inappropriate video your innocent child saw on the Internet.  It’s opening up discussions on other topics like abortion, rape, oral sex, and sexual abuse that send you right back into hiding.  It’s scary and so we run from it.

Talking about sex with your child is a big deal and it’s easy to get caught up in the fear, worry, and loss of innocence.

But there is a good part.

When puberty starts, this is our chance to communicate to our children how special they really are.  That their bodies can do amazing & magical things and are worthy of being respected.  That developing the ability to MAKE HUMAN BEINGS is pretty darn AWESOME!  That our kids are powerful and magical and creative and that it all comes from being able to LOVE in a deep and intimate way.  That everyone all over the globe has the same magical power.  It’s about realizing that we are just as important and wonderful as our parents, that annoying kid in math class, the soccer coach, and the President.

When parents and kids talk openly and authentically about sex, it creates a significant bond.  When we giggle together, get embarrassed together, feel awkward yet honest together, we feel connected on a whole other level.  For kids, it’s about seeing your parent in a new way:  a friend, an ally, vulnerable and perfectly imperfect.  It forms a bond of friendship that will last a lifetime.  For the parent, it’s about letting your child be who they are meant to be.  It’s allowing them to grow, to trust and honor them in a whole new way.

Talking to your kids about sex is hard, but we have made it easy.  Join the conversation at our Time for The Talk Facebook page, take a live class or purchase our online class at www.timeforthetalk.com.   We are here to support you.